Best chirps you've ever read/heard

[RichBasterd]

There was a post on theChive about some NHL chirps and I know many of you guys also have played before so curious if there are any that you remember or are better than these (the Burish one had me laughing):

[Chris-Wild]

lol Trottier

One guy said something about my mother once...i gave him a 2 hander over the head with my goalie stick...never said anything about her ever again lol

[Alex]

The Iginla and Gallahger ones are great.

[adam - sabres]

Buddy of mine was getting chirped for wearing a full cage in beer league. Snapped pretty quick back at the guy "Yeah, if I had a face like yours, I wouldn't bother to protect it either!"

[Juliet-Bruins]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYQSOrvDtyQ

For my personal hockey career, I played goalie so I wouldn't hear much trash talk unless it was around my net, or I did it myself. My goal for trash talking was to say the dumbest shit possible because I wasn't good at making up insults on the spot, and found this approach hilarious. My favorite:
"Hey bud I'm gonna fuck your mom after the game"
Me: "Yeah well I'm going to fuck you after the game"

[RichBasterd]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYQSOrvDtyQ

For my personal hockey career, I played goalie so I wouldn't hear much trash talk unless it was around my net, or I did it myself. My goal for trash talking was to say the dumbest shit possible because I wasn't good at making up insults on the spot, and found this approach hilarious. My favorite:
"Hey bud I'm gonna fuck your mom after the game"
Me: "Yeah well I'm going to fuck you after the game"

I had found a similar video but didnt post it. There's some hilarious stuff with Trottier too and him chirping Bellows pretty hard. Its like around the 2:45 min mark of this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5LSLLv8_kQ

On your approach, I would've been a bit concerned if some of those guys would've liked that too...then whatya do Jordan. I guess bend over like your Bruins did in the playoffs

[Chris-Wild]

Buddy of mine was getting chirped for wearing a full cage in beer league. Snapped pretty quick back at the guy "Yeah, if I had a face like yours, I wouldn't bother to protect it either!"

That is pure gold...GOLD

[Nick - Philly]

Go dye your hair is an all time top chirp. lol

[adam - sabres]

If anyone here is a fan of the show Letterkenny, Riley and Jonesy are classic. If anyone here hasn't seen Letterkenny, go watch Letterkenny.

[anthgrt-la]

Got as far as the junior national team and for fun played with the US national team sometimes in water polo. Heard a lot of great stuff over the yrs, but forgot most of it sadly. Two I remember laughing at....

Usually when I played I was responsible for guarding set (like center in basketball), which is pretty much pure violence in the water. A lot of physicality occurs and one often wraps one's arm around the others body or neck when defending. Had to bust out laughing once when a guy just gave me wink and said "You like choking dudes? Cause I've got some furry handcuffs in the car if you wanna..."

Everyone I played with has a favorite moment though.... Only time I've ever been thrown out of a game, pool deck, and tournament.... Was going with a big dude for 3 quarters who was constantly just doing annoying and dumb shit. Told him multiple times to stop before 4 possessions in a row kicking off his face to go to offense/defense. He tried to swing back everytime and missed before the 5th possession grabbing me by the face and just starting to wail. Found out later I broke the guys cheek bone, orbital bone, and nose. Knew the ref didn't see anything I did and by the time we were being thrown out i was feet up, head under water, looking like I was giving the dude a bj. Will never forgot coming back above water hearing all the parents screaming, seeing a pool of blood from his face, and the referee yelling at us both to get out. I refused to get out and just kept yelling "Wtf did I do, give the guy a bj?!!!" have friends parents who still bust out laughing to that comment. Knew he didn't see anything I did so to this day whether blood and a broken face on the other guy he never saw it so shouldn't have been allowed to call it.

[VanHuggy]

Go wipe your puss